Tag Archive | prison

Lost N Found, What A Difference You Made In My Life

John 16:23

In that day you will no longer ask me anything. Very truly I tell you,

my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.

Have you ever been just going along living the blessed life when suddenly if there was the slightest crack in your foundation you seemed to fall in it and get stuck there a while? Well, I hear ya!

I had some crater cracks that were very visible to me and boy let me tell you, I was diligent to the task of closing those gaps and being set free! On the other hand I had so many hair-line cracks that I didn’t see them with the naked eye, or even a telescopic eye!  Those were the cracks that swallowed me up and held me captive for two long years. I prayed, cried, screamed, kicked and begged for relief, for answers, for deliverance and freedom. God sent none which equals no – one. At least not in the way that I thought it or they should come. Yes, you know where I am going with this one already but please read on.

Now, prior to me falling into the cracks and getting wedged there for what seems like an eternity, a mini forever at the very least, my heart was on fire for God. I don’t mean a itty bitty let’s warm our hands by the fire kind of fire. I mean an all-consuming fire that consumed me night and day! I would become so overwhelmed and I would weep and cry out to God, “Lord, take me and my life and do something good with it!” That kind of fire moves the hand of God instantly. I became an instant crack dweller as God began to make my life and way unrecognizable.

John 16:23  In that day you will no longer ask me anything. Very truly I tell you, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.

I stayed in the cracks as God began to show me the not so pleasing aroma of the secret places of my heart.  Day by day, hour by hour and often times minute by minute the Lord undid the doing…… as I kicked, screamed and pouted because in my eyes, I was going backwards and getting further and further away from my life ever being usable for something or anything good.  My dream and the yearning of my heart was now way off in the distance and I could not see it ever being good or doing good again!

everything happens for a reason

The past two years have been a mix of the book of Job and the Exodus.  Disaster after disaster sending me running for my life in terror screaming “Lord, I believe but help me with my unbelief!!!”  I don’t know how many times I thought of turning my ship around and going back to the safe blessed life before I asked God to take my life and do something good with it.  Because a request like that will undoubtedly turn you inside out.  A request like that will cause a complete and total make over.  A request like that will require a complete and total heart transplant.  That is what I got.


You see, I wanted to do good and be a blessing but I wanted to do it within my own terms and my way.  I wanted to love the lovely and not be bothered by the unlovely.  I wanted to feed the hungry but only if they were hungry because of an unforeseen life event or trauma.  I didn’t want to get close to the hungry that just came out of prison, or that had a horrific drug problem that they couldn’t conquer or a drinking problem that they couldn’t overcome or the one’s that kept making the same mistakes over and over and over again.  I didn’t want to help the people who were a product of their environment and come with baggage.  I didn’t want to be around manipulators and thief’s.  I wanted to help but I didn’t want the mess.  I wanted to reach out but not if there was a stench or the least possible chance of an inconvenience or trouble.  I wanted my cake and I wanted to eat it too with no hassle and no mess.  The ridiculous thing is that I didn’t see the rottenness of my heart until the Lord turned my heart inside out!


I didn’t get new eyes to see and new ears to hear until all the things and circumstances that I didn’t want touching my life came to visit and stayed with me for the longest and most excruciating two years of my life!  I will never be the same.  I don’t want to be the same.  I don’t want to be that person ever again that only does the glory work.  I want to be with and grow up with the one’s at the bottom, with the ones that need a second chance from the God of second chances. I want to look back some day and say “God, we made a difference in that one’s life, we gave some hope, some love and a way for a better life, we did it You and me!!

God did exactly what I asked Him to do.  He took my life and day by day He is doing something good with it!

O Lord, What a difference you’ve made in my life!!  Now I am willing and able to make a difference in other’s lives!!

All images taken from bing.com images


Be The Judge

Looking for feedback before I send a press release to the media, The American Civil Liberty Union and the Bar Association.

Is it ever acceptable for an elected Judge to sleep – while kicked back in his chair, read the newspaper, magazines, daily mail during a jury waived trial?  Better yet is it acceptable for an elected judge to hum and sing during witness testimony on a jury waived trial while the defense attorneys sit back in fear of retaliation from the same judge against their clients and do absolutely nothing?  Is it acceptable for the Judge to refuse to allow defense witnesses to testify on behalf of the defense – one was eyewitness to the victim plotting to lie and threatening his witnesses to lie?  Would you find it appalling that the Judge then sentenced three innocent men with no prior record and are good hardworking citizens and Christians of the community to four years prison? All based on his family physician’s word that this victim never had a back injury prior to the incident (just his word no evidence) but the defense had a medical report from the victims previous physician stating that the victim had a prior back  injury and break and ongoing back issues.  Would it seem good judgment of the Judge that he would take the doctors word and the word of the victim witnesses that had perjured their testimony all through the trial?  One of the victim witnesses couldn’t even identify one of the accused and even said that she never saw him in the room but then testified that she eye witnessed him kick the victim.  The same witness said that there were two 50 year old men and she positively identified the third man who is twenty eight.  Would you sit up and take notice if one of the accused was 54, one was 28 and one was 19?  Do you think the Judge would have ruled differently if he had been awake and paying attention to the testimony and evidence?  Perhaps if he didn’t break out humming and singing while people were testifying he may have heard the perjured statements.

The talk of the courthouse is that this Judge is suffering from dementia and convicting innocent people.  I am having difficulty knowing this information, seeing this judges behavior in the courtroom and no one doing anything out of fear.  Even if this judge’s dementia is not documented should his behavior be acceptable on any level?  Should this disrespect of the people by an elected official be tolerated.

Oh, one final tidbit – after the judge sentenced these innocent men to four years prison he then assigned the same appeal attorney to two of the defendants and then went on a weeks vacation leaving this defendant in jail with no attorney at all.


What do you think?  Should I go to the press and make this public so the state cannot continue to harm innocent people with their dirty little secret of a demented judge on the bench??  Should these men have to sit in jail waiting on the long appeal process while the state and supreme court are aware of this 72 year old judges decline and obvious mental disorder?

What would you do if you were in my shoes?  The defense attorney’s feel that we shouldn’t make any waives for fear of the judge retaliating against these three men sitting in prison.

Thank you for any feed back.